Local Christian Ladies Infected with Mysterious "Bone Poisioning" from Wing Shack

A homely group of elderly Church of Christ in God (COCIG) ladies were recently infected with what local medical officials are calling "bone poisoning" after eating a meal that residents refer to as the "Last Supper."

Of the 33 church members who ate at the Wing Shack on Park Street last Friday, 32 came down with symptoms of esophagus pain and dehydration and were immediately transported en masse by Black Hawk helicopter to Northeast South Mississippi Regional Medical Center.

The incident occurred after the group of women, festooned in church hats that represented every color of the visible light spectrum, ate a steaming platter of fried buffalo chicken wings, unaware that they contained bones.

One lady, whose daughter's Bat Mitzvah the group was celebrating, remarked, "We didn't know the wings had bones in them. We had eaten the whole platter by the time we realized they had bones in them." She continued, "These wings should have been individually labeled with bright yellow Post It notes that said, 'These wings have bones in them'."

By the time the platter of bony wings was consumed, the group had already retained Karl Moore, Esq. for legal services. Moore held a press conference from the front steps of the Wing Shack exactly seven minutes after the original telephone call was made to 911. Moore's remarks to the crowd, which consisted of two Wing Shack delivery drivers and a homeless man, were simple: "If there's no Post It note, bones go down the throat."

Although Moore's office is currently preparing the legal documents for this case, he did confirm that there are plans to file a $14,000,000,000 lawsuit against both the owners of the Wing Shack and the 112 Rhode Island Red chickens whose wings were ingested by the church ladies.

Local doctor Sandy Gupta, M.D. stated that bone poisoning is painful, but not life threatening. "The hardest part for these ladies will be when they have to pass the bones. My advice to them is to 'just grab a hold of something, bite your lip, and give it hell'."

The Department of State Health is investigating the case and should make results available within the next three to five years.